Tag: FAMILY

LA’s Summer Recap

Wow! Where has the summer gone? Mine, at least. Most of you have a few weeks left. Since my son started school a few days ago, I consider mine as good as over. What was supposed to be an easy, relatively stress free summer has been anything but.  I decided against a summer-long day program for my son. Not only is he 13 years old but the summer would have felt the same as the school year with dropping him off and arranging for someone else to pick him up thanks to the working -parent unfriendly hours.  The only one lucky enough to go on a vacation for a week–Boy Scout camp–was my son. I was so jealous.

My summer was supposed to be a break from writing–as if?–and taking a 10 week Project Management certification prep course, study on the days I didn’t have class, and enjoy some days on our local beach with my husband. I bought a new swimsuit and everything!

As it happened, I was busy with so much more than class and didn’t make it to a beach–not one time.  Searching for a house, doctor appointments with my husband, and unexpectedly, yet gladly, making some necessary moves for my writing business. Namely, doing a photoshoot (preview on my FB page) investing in having my website professionally designed, and a couple of girls’ night out events.

Before I knew it the whole month of July had passed and it was time to get my son ready for school. If I didn’t make a move quick, I was going to lose the short window I had left to enjoy some summer sun. So I combined a few vacation days with the weekend for the most consecutive days I’ve had off all summer. It was only then that I finally got to wear my new swimsuit and sit under the sun. Not at the beach but at the waterpark that I promised my  son to take him to before he went back to school. I made it with a few days to spare! Don’t want to be that parent that breaks promises. Kids remember those things.

Vacation or no vacation. Stress or stress-less. This has turned into a great summer. Not only did I successfully complete the PMP prep course, find a house (closing at the end of the month), I’m all set to officially release my new novel on schedule! Can’t ask for much more than that.

How was your summer? Did you do all you set out to do or more? Tell me all about.

Wellness Wednesday–Health Walks for Fitness & Fun

This past Saturday was the Detroit Heart Walk sponsored by the American Heart Association. As the chair of a Health Awareness committee through an Employee Resource Group of the company I work for, I created a team for the event. I must say, it was a struggle getting to the event as I partied hard with my sorority sisters the night before ( no drinking involved but lots of dancing), but I was so glad I did. Fond memories of yearly participation in such walks as Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, Sister Strut ( breast cancer), March of Dimes (for premature babies) came flooding back. Why did I stop participating, I can’t really say. Between my job and sorority, there’s always a team I can join. Even if there isn’t a team, I can always go solo. I’m sure to  run into someone I know right when I’m ready to play some music through my earbuds.

Health walks are great way to support worthy causes and get in a lot of steps. The heart walk yielded me approximately 5k steps at 3 miles. By the end of the day I hit my daily goal of 12k steps. If I didn’t have to pick my son up from camp on Sunday, I would have gone to the Kidney Foundation walk at the Detroit Zoo. I keep missing walking opportunities there. I must take advantage while I live so close (3 miles away).

These events are a lot of fun too. Sponsors provide bouncy houses for kids, face-painting, and other activities. At this walk I was super excited to get my jump rope on with my team. 

Had I arrived at my intended time, an hour before the walk was to begin, I could have participated in Bowkwa and/or Yoga, too. Activity coordinators do a great job making the event fun-filled for the whole family.

This was my first time leading a team and I did not do as well as I could have 😞. I met my individual goal of $100 and was $15 short of my team goal of $200. Considering I didn’t really solicit donations until the final hour, I won’t beat myself up too bad. But imagine how much I could have raised if I’d been diligent from the start six months ago. I won’t make that mistake again.

I plan to soak up some summer sun with more walks for health causes but I’m saving my next fundraiser endeavor for a cause newly dear to my heart, lung disease. The Lung Association sponsors a walk called Lung Force. It’ll take place in my hometown of Detroit in October 2017. Hmm, that’s actually not that far away from a fundraising perspective. I better get busy, huh?

What health walks do you support and why? I’d love to hear.

Naturally Yours,

L.A.

Spiritually Speaking– Give Us ThIS Day

Very early in my relationship with the man I eventually married, he disclosed a medical condition that he was diagnosed with some five years earlier. Dermatomyositis, a rare inflammatory disease, in which symptoms include muscle pain, muscle tenderness, fatigue, and possible lung problems. After being treated for the symptoms he was experiencing at the time, he became symptom free and disproved the claim by the doctor that he’d be in a wheelchair within five years. Fast forward another five years, symptoms returned, likely ignited from the constant travel he was doing with his job. Fast forward another few years and now he’s been diagnosed with a life threatening lung disease for which there is known cure. The week of Christmas his lung doctor informed us that she doesn’t foresee him qualifying for the lung transplant that he needs to save his life in time before the disease ends his life. She advised us to call Hospice for Palliative Care.

Merry Christmas, right?

By God’s grace we still had a wonderful holiday. We hugged more, gazed into each other’s more. Reminisced on our time together. No matter what had transpired between us throughout the years, we always enjoyed holiday time with our families. Since it could be his last Christmas with us, my husband dazzled us in the kitchen: corned beef and cabbage, pot roast and carrots, crablegs. Everything was delicious!

“You could’ve been doing this all the time, SIR.” I said with a wide grin on my face but very serious.

My husband is standing toe to toe with his mortality. In turn, that means I am too. Over these last several months that we’ve been dealing with my husband’s health challenges, he has said too many times than I care to count, “I’m dying, Char.” “I might not be here tomorrow.” Specifically during this holiday season, “This might be my last (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Eve).

The stinging in my heart is always the same and so is my response. “Honey, tomorrow is not promised to any of us. We have to enjoy and be blessed in this day that we’ve been given.”

“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalms 118:24 KJV)

“Give us this day our daily bread.” (Matt 6:11 KJV)

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought of the things of itself.” (Matt 7:34 KJV)

God gives us our lives in daily increments. Not weeks, months, and years. In our human nature, giving little thought to the many possibilities of death that we face in the world every day, we make plans for the future. Our short term and long term goals. Where we our next home to be or our next car. Where we’re going to vacation to next summer. In just this first few days of 2016, some people already have the entire year planned out.

It’s nothing wrong with being hopeful for the future, but God’s message to us is clear. We only have today, right now. Not five minutes, not an hour, not five hours from now. Right now. Anything else that follows is God’s grace.

So although my husband is dealing with this life threatening disease, I encourage him (and myself and friends and family) to live each day as though it were our last. Because it could be. I thank God each day that I wake up. I thank Him the same for my loved ones and friends and I encourage you all to do the same.

On this first Sunday of 2016, I say “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Naturally Yours,

L.A.

Wellness Wednesday For Caregivers

Yes, I have a particular interest in caregiving these days. Perhaps because I fell into the role about eight months ago. And even in that short time I can attest to the devastating effects it can–NO, it does take on the caregiver’s life. At forty years old, a divorced, married, divorced, and married again mother of two, I’ve experienced my share of ups and downs and this, is, by far, the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to deal with.

But there’s good news!

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President Obama declared November 2015 the first National Family Caregiver Month and the Internet is splattered with resources to help family caregivers, first take care of themselves, so that they are better prepared to take care of their loved one.

So for my Wellness Wednesday post, I’d like to share some of the things I’ve implemented in my life is to avoid burnout and live while I’m helping my sick loved one.

  1. Going to the doctor for myself. I’ve never been to so many doctor offices in my life. And that’s including my children’s’ well baby exams and impromptu urgent care visits. But once I realized that I needed to get involved with my husband’s medical care, I started attending every doctors’ appointments. Several months had gone by before I realized I hadn’t made time for my own annual physical!
  2. Make the most of my time. I’m a caregiver who also works a full time job. Since home is also a place of work–it kind of already was being a wife and mother–I tried to get as much done during my nine hours away from home. I try to write or read during my lunch time or other down time at work. I use breaks for exercising (.i.e. walking or hula hooping, stretching, or dancing).
  3. Have some fun. Honestly, it took me some time to not feel guilty when I had to get out and have some fun that didn’t involve my sick loved one. I felt like I was being selfish, leaving him home. But a light bulb went off in my head when I realized that when my loved could get out without me to enjoy himself, he did just that and didn’t appear guilty about in the least. So why wouldn’t I? Besides, whether sick or not, each of us only has one life to live. A caregiver can’t give theirs up completely because their loved one is sick.
  4. Pamper yourself. Hair appt. Manicure/pedicure. Massage. Facial. In caregiving, you’re doing all if not most of the giving. You must take time out to let someone do something for you. Minimum once a month.
  5. Pray/Meditate. This should be at the top of the list. God is a healer, a comforter, a way maker; your strength in times of weakness. EVERYDAY you must engage in time with Him. Start and end your day with thanksgiving and praise because, believe it or not, your situation could be worse.

Naturally Yours,

L.A.

(c) LaCharmine (L.A.) Jefferson 2015