From One Green to Another

If you’re from Michigan you are acutely aware of the tragic events that occurred on Monday, February 13th. Heck, even if you’re not, you likely know about the campus shooting that left three young people dead and five others seriously wounded. Unless you know me personally or follow my blog, you also know that my son started his freshmen year there this past fall. Well, what you don’t know, because I haven’t shared with a lot of people outside of immediate family, is that he decided to leave MSU after the first semester of the academic year. So the good news is that he was not on campus the evening of the fateful shooting, but, as a parent of a former MSU graduate and having many friends with students on campus I was no less glued to the T.V. in absolute terror of what was happening. I’m glad to say all of my friends’ students were safe, but my heart truly aches for families of those students who died that night.

Why have I been silent on my son’s sudden departure from MSU? Well, obviously, no parent is joyous when their child decides to leave college. But for me, in particular, it’s a MSU thing. No, I did not attend the school. However, it was the school I had every intention of attending when I graduated in 1993 when my parents shattered my dreams when they declared that I would not have their financial support if I went “away” to the school that was only one hour away. I sure wish I was more defiant at that time in my life because not attending my first school of choice has been one of my few life’s regret.

Nevertheless, when my daughter attended the school twenty years later I developed pride from being a MSU mom. And I was looking forward to being a MSU mom times 2. But that was my dream, not his. So I had to put on my big girl pants and not shame him or try to guilt him to do what I wanted. That wouldn’t have made me any different from my parents.

What I wanted most– okay, second to my son continuing his education at MSU, was for him to have a plan for this phase in his life. One of the mottos I’ve been preaching to him since I became aware of it is: Proper Preparation Prevent Poor Performance. So, I reiterated that to him.

“You’ve got to have a plan, son.”

And his plan became enlisting in the military.

Another shocker for me. Another time where I had to put on my big girl pants. I reminded myself, This is his life to live.

Once I was sure that he was sure of his decision to go to the United States Air Force, I got on board and went full throttle into “support” role when you transition from telling your kids what to do to supporting them in the decisions they make.

Walmart run for some essentials the night before he leave Feb 2023

On this day, his last day in our home before his embarkment on BMT (Basic Military Training), I’m holding back my tears that will surely refuse to be held back on the actual day that he leaves. After scouring the Internet about what to expect of BMT (because I’m the one going, right?), I actually feel better about his decision. Over the next two months he will be strengthened physically, mentally, and emotionally, and on the road to true manhood.

What more can a mother ask for?

After Nate’s haircut in the preparation for basic training

In Writing…Happy Friday!

Okay… my pantser writing style never ceases to amaze me. I’m writing a story in which my female protagonist enjoys sexual relations with women as long as her boyfriend is with her. He surprises her with a proposal and she assumes there’s no room for that kind of activity in a marriage so she decides to go on the prowl for her first solo woman to woman sexual experience before they get married.

Over the past week or so, I have been stuck trying to determine her journey to meet this woman, while trying to contain the story to be a short one. Then all of a sudden I’m writing a scene where the character is at happy hour with her best friend talking bridesmaid dresses and when the friend goes to the bathroom, their female server hits on the main character, leaving her phone number on the back of the customer receipt!

And just like that, the plot of thickens.

Happy Friday!

In Writing,

In Writing-Proud 2022 Moments #1

This month I’ve been looking back over things I’m proud of that I accomplished in 2022. One of the things at the top of that list is getting back into reading. As a author of two published books and working as a librarian, it goes without saying that I love books. However, recent times have caused me to feel like a bit of a fraud when I leaved the phrase “avid reader” in my bio. The truth is that I used to be an avid reader BEFORE I started writing. Now I’m more like a “wannabe” avid reader. Since beginning my writing journey, it seems, I’ve always been in some stage of a writing project. When I would pick up a book, I would soon feel like I should be writing (there’s a podcast that goes by that name, which I wish I chosen as my own!)

Nevertheless, reading is a MUST for me. I need to do it like I need to breathe. And no more matter how tempting it is to come home from work or wake up on a Saturday or Sunday morning to stream the latest popular series on Netflix, I had to make time for reading. It is apart of my writing craft. And I have fond memories of cozying up on the couch with a book. It was something I looked forward to. If you follow my blog, you’ll remember my New Year’s post declaring doing more things in 2023 that bring me joy. If reading didn’t make it list, charge it to my head and not my heart, because it’s there.

Through a combination of physical books and audio books, I completed at least 20 books in 2022. Below are a few of my favorites!

Sis Don’t Settle: How to be Smart in Matters of the Heart by Faith Jenkins

Just As I Am by Cicely Tyson

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Reid

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty by Awaeke Emezi

The Other Black Girl by Zakiyah Dallia Harris

Rare Danger by Beverly Jenkins

2023 Has Arrived

Happy New Year!

I started thinking about what I want to do differently in the new year a couple of weeks ago. I’m not calling them resolutions because they’re not just for 2023. They’re from this day forward. At the top of my list is swimming, skating, and hula hooping. When I was on my sorority anniversary trip in Cabo, I envied the ease with which one of my line sisters woke up every morning that we were there and went to swim laps in the infinity pool before breakfast. I learned how to swim for the second time about 15 years ago but I didn’t keep it up. I learned because I wanted to stay fit with fun activities that wouldn’t make me feel like I was exercising. Hence why skating and hula hooping are on the agenda.

Next up is traveling. I took two trips in 2022, six months apart. The first one was my friends 40th birthday in New York in July. The second was the Cabo trip in December. I like the idea of spacing out the trips. It allowed for financial recovery from the trip before the next one. So now I’m thinking of a small weekend trip in the first quarter of the year, followed by a bigger one the second half. Likely destinations are Washington, DC and Jamaica.

Next up–writing. I can’t say it enough but National Novel Writing Month really did change my perspective on writing. It’s not enough for me to resolve to write more this year. It’s easy to write more. But it’s another whole thing to produce more writing projects. Finish the writing projects that I’ve started. I have approximately four projects I’ve been working on concurrently. None of which, except one, that had a projected date of completion and that didn’t even happen. At the close of the year, two are near complete and the other two are in the beginning stages. So, I devised a plan to complete all five by the first quarter on 2023.

One will be completed before this week is out. A week ago, I learned about writing in blocks of time. What I used to do was look a day off work and say, “I’m going to write today.” No specific start or cut-off time. That method hasn’t gotten my where I really desire to be. Last week I reached out a fellow writer who joined one of my NaNoWriMo sessions and I remembered her talking about a group she was in that helped be a more focused, productive writer. Heart Breathings Writing Community. I joined the Facebook group and subscribed to the group owners YouTube channel. I watched a video where she described the writing block system. I implemented it that same day. And that’s why I’m almost finished with one of my projects!

Now granted, I still mess up, even with this new method of writing in place. Like watching T.V. or answering calls when I’m writing. But there have been some wins, too, along the way. Like NOT answering a call when I was writing and pushing the guilt away when it came for me. The caller survived over remaining 30 minutes of my scheduled writing time.

I am still a work in progress, in ever area of my life. But I’ll never stop seeking to be better.

May you have a prosperous and blessed 2023!

NaNoWriMo–Wrap-up

Wow! The end of this National Novel Writing Month came quick. I can’t say it snuck up on me because I was very in tune to every day. Especially those days when the struggle was real. I’m posting this wrap-up message on December 6th because on November 30th I was in flight to Los Cabo Mexico to celebrate my 10th anniversary as a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. This trip was THE best way to wind down from a month of writing, something I’ve never done before.

The experience has been nothing less than life changing for my writing life! In these weeks I have literally learned that I can do hard things. Specifically, I learned that I can prioritize my writing over people that I love and events that I’d like to attend, and the world will not fall apart. The people I love and like will still love and like me. And most importantly, I learned that people will respect my commitment to my writing IF I respect the commitment I set for my writing.

I’m not totally disappointed that I didn’t hit the goal of 50K words (18,230 to be exact) I commend myself and everyone else who participated in the challenge for just trying. This was not an easy task to take one. And being a “pancer”, someone who does little to no plotting and planning. I literally pulled an idea that I’ve been stewing over for the last couple years and starting writing it. I had the beginning of the story somewhat planned but as with the writing process, I could already tell it would have to be revised. Nevertheless, I’m excited to have a start to this novel, which will be my fourth!

Here’s a list of other key takeaways from my participation in NaNoWriMo 2022:

It’s okay to talking to people about what I’m writing. This might be a writers’ thing, but I don’t usually talk to friends about what I’m writing. Honestly, I don’t think they really care. Most times I feel like whoever I’m talking to is waiting for me to finish talking about it so they can carry on with what they wanted to talk to me about. I’m usually the “listener” of my friends or family. However, this month I made a concerted effort to share with family and friends that I was working on a new story during the challenge. And that usually led to them inquiring about the story so I told them.
There’s an additional benefit to sharing my writing with others, even if they’re not writers. I received a great suggestion from the dater my cousin brought along to an event we both attended. In sharing with my cousin about my story, which is about two caregivers, in different age groups, ethnicities, and personalities on a road trip after both of their husbands die, I mentioned wanting to go beyond the black/white friendship and involve a ethnicity we don’t often see in African American stories. His date suggested a Native American and I was immediately intrigued. Interestingly, I was scheduled to attend a webinar the following week about Thanksgiving from the Native American perspective. Although my character choices had nothing to do with why I signed up for the webinar, I felt like her suggesting that was a sign of how I should move forward. I wouldn’t have received that if I didn’t share my idea in the first place.
This might be a given but it’s solidified in my mind now. I must have a goal for any writing that I start. A blog post, essay, short story, or novel. Once I move from my story conception to writing, I have to give myself a solid goal for completing the first draft. Believe it or not, I have not been doing that. There have been times I set a goal but didn’t sit down and determine how I was going to do it. This challenge made me do that and, for that, I am forever changed. Going forward, with anything I want to do, I’m going to set a goal and create a plan for how to accomplish it.

So thank you National Novel Writing Month for being a great teacher of 2022!

I’m curious…what has challenged you on your writing journey or any other journey you’ve embarked on? Post in the comments.

Til next time,

In Writing–NaNoWriMo Week 3

Things have picked up. After the struggle of week 2, I kept pushing and I’m not disappointed.

What I am is tired.

Yesterday, before I had to work at four in the afternoon, I laid in bed, literally all day. Writing is an exercise of the mind and it is just as draining as physical exercise. I didn’t worry about writing during the day because I knew I would have time when I was on desk at the library. That’s how slow it is in the evening at the community college library that I work at on Thursdays.

The sleep did me good, though, on many levels. I woke up the next day refreshed and recharged. I got up and out early to take care of some car maintenance that was on the schedule for the day before. Again, I knew I would have time to write on my afternoon shift at the library.

I’m proud that I have not missed a day of writing since this challenge began. My numbers are climbing, just not as quickly as I would have liked for this particular week. Truthfully, I am feeling a little defeated, but I’m not allowing that to keep me pushing forward. Why? Because on November 30, 2022, I will have a draft–50k words or not– of a new novel. And that’s a major accomplishment in itself.

Still, I’m chasing the 50 with 9 days to go!

Wish me luck!

In Writing: NaNoWriMo Week 2

Last week, the second week of the challenge, was a struggle. I started off with a bang on the first two chapters of my manuscript. It wasn’t too hard because I had had that part mapped out in my head for quite some time. However, once I completed those chapters, I struggled getting the words for the next two chapters. I was immediately irritated that I’m not more of a strategic writer. In the world of NaNoWriMo, I’m what they call a panser–a person who writes by the seat of their pants. And then in the middle of the week I had to take on grandma duty to babysit my two granddaughters while their mom-my daughter–had some “Me” time…in London! When she asked me to keep them several months ago, I had not decided to be participate in this 50K word novel writing challenge. At that time I had only planned to host write-ins with my library for all the other writers. Nevertheless, I still thought I would have been more productive because the truth is I get most of my writing done when I’m not at home. So I really thought having the girls wouldn’t have affected me. However, I hadn’t considered how the anxiousness of this commitment to babysit 2 under 2 was going to effect my ability to be creative when I did have time to write. Then I was bummed and down in the dumps that I was barely writing 500 words a day when the previous week I was killing it with at least 1,000.

So you can imagine how bleak my outlook became on accomplishing my goal. Today starts week 3 and I’m nowhere near the 50K mark. Not even close enough to half.

But I’m not giving up. I received an email from the NaNoWriMo organization talking about just what I was experiencing.

The writer made reference to this second week of NaNoWriMo being the hardest of the challenge. Why? Because it’s common to lose that momentum of the first week. It’s kind of like when you get an idea for a book and you start writing for the fun of it. Then you hit the spot where you lose the motivation. To keep writing when you’re not inspired or motivated in what us writers like to call the “work” of being a writer. You have to write when you don’t feel like. You have to write when you feel like it’s not making sense to you. You have to write when none of the fancy words in your vocabulary are coming to mind.

Instantly, I felt less alone and more inspired to stay the course. So after I dropped my daughter and granddaughters off at their apartment close to midnight last night, I decided that the next day was my fresh start.

I woke up this morning and grabbed my laptop and got to work!

I’m still in this race!

Election Day! Exercise your right!

In Writing: NaNoWriMo Week 1 Report

Whew! Seven days of consecutive writing! You might find this hard to believe, but I’ve never done this before in my writing life. I’ve always let something or another stop me from a daily writing practice. That’s why participating in this challenge has been so important to me. I really want to get in the habit of writing everyday, especially when I have a project in the works. While this is exhausting, I have never been more proud of myself. But even with the progress I’m making, I want to give full disclosure of my experiences, my triumphs and my trials.

Triumphs:

Writing everyday

Writing in my office

Scheduling virtual write-ins

Participating in in-person write-ins

Updating my progress on the NaNoWriMo site

Sharing my journey with others (great for accountability)

Searching for accountability buddies

Trials:

Making corrections to WIP

Rereading what I wrote the previous writing session

Forgetting to record my starting word count before I start writing

Constantly checking my word count

Making TikTok content during my writing sessions

Dipping back into my old previous WIP

What’s next? My second personal virtual write-in of the month. Join me if you’d like.

LaCharmine Jefferson is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Writing With LA-National Novel Writing Month
Time: Nov 13, 2022 11:00 AM Eastern Time (US and Canada)
Every week on Sun, until Nov 27, 2022, 3 occurrence(s)
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Writing With LA–NaNoWriMo 2022

Here it is for the month of National Novel Writing Month.